1. The best part of my artist statement would be the first paragraph because it brings the reader in by using shocking words that attract. In my case, the first word I used was "lust" which I knew would make anybody want to read what the paper was about. Even though I believe that it is really important to have a good introduction to attract the reader, if the rest of the paper is not good, then working hard on a good hook is pretty much useless, so what I tried doing to keep the rest of the artist statement interesting was to always mention something new and never repeat any old information.
2.The loop, though I have not yet perfected it, has been the most helpful. Using this writing tip makes me feel like I am actually writing something worth reading. I never really thought about how much better a piece of writing would be if it ended just as interestingly as it started.
3. The most challenging part of writing my artist statement has been the part where I have to make the beginning and the end equally attractive to the reader. Organizing my paper is the most challenging part for me. My ideas are usually splattered all over the paper without any flow and making it flow and transition from one paragraph to the other.
4. Making concerts not pancakes has been challenging for me because of my lack of organization in papers. I am pretty proud of my hook because I feel like that will almost attract anybody, but I am not too happy about my conclusion. It sounds too much like a conclusion and it does not leave the reader thinking about what they read.
Concluding Paragraph:
Recently, Madonna has been focusing much of her attention to the increase in spreading of AIDS in Malawi, and has been trying to spread awareness in that matter. She was moved by a woman who had been trying to spread awareness, and is now trying to do the same and spread the word about what is going on in another place. She did not let herself completely believe that the issue was hopeless and there was nothing she could do about it, and has helped raise millions for them. She has a contradicting lifestyle, but for me, it is easy to relate to someone who goes from being trapped and wanting to go wild and free, but then realize what is most important, which is the world I live in and the people with whom I share it.
How can I make this fit in to my main idea (Freedom)?
How can I make the ending leave the reader with this essay on their mind for a while?
What should I add or remove from this paragraph?
Should I even include this in my artist statement?
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